I'm so frustrated some days that I will never get the wedding I dreamed of. I always wanted something very simple with some close friends and family... likely a very small wedding... but a wedding nonetheless. I simply can't afford to travel to have one and since my friends and family are spread so far apart across the US (and so are Mike's) that people wouldn't be able to attend anyway. I just want pictures and memories of a great day filled with people I love celebrating with us, but it just won't be possible and that reality is hard to face. I feel bad every time I see someone else's wedding photos and I don't like being jealous, but I can't really help it at this point.
I'm also disappointed that I couldn't make my first marriage work. I married the wrong person and I hate being yet another statistic. First teen mother, then divorced at 23. I need to do something right with my life. My life with Mike is a hundred times better than it was with Josh and for that I am extremely thankful. But that will make it a thousand times more devastating if things didn't work out with us. I can't imagine they wouldn't. I don't want to. I try not to think about it... but after such a messy divorce, it's hard not to worry.
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Are things not working out with you and Mike? Or do you wish that you could have your dream wedding with him?
ReplyDeleteYou have whatever kind of wedding you want. Stop letting other people and their problems tell you what you can and can't do. If you can't afford to travel, then make everyone travel to see you. I would happily fly to Texas to see you married, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. You have a lot friends and family that care about you. Steve and I have a lot of friends and family out of state, too, but when I told them we wanted to get married, distance didn't matter, they wanted to be there...And I know you're more popular than I am. :)
Weddings don't have to cost a lot. Find a nice park, have a friend do the photography, buy a cheap cake from the grocery store, and stop comparing yourself to other people. You have someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that's something not a lot of people find. You've made a good life for yourself. You should be proud.
I would definetely go to your wedding! And yeah, I agree with Zymox. When you remember a wedding you don't remember how expensive things were, you remember the people. Cake is cake, unless it's not. Or something.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what's up with you and mooses (or is the plural moose, like with fish?)? I keep meaning to ask you that. Why do you repel them? Is it a product? If so, hook me up.
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