Ahhhhh

No sleep means no blogging, but now that I'm finally on a somewhat "normal" schedule, I can write again! I had totally forgotten how much a baby takes out of you. I spend about 80% of my day feeding her and the rest of the time entertaining her or fighting with her so she'll get her exhausted butt to sleep. Thankfully at bedtime she doesn't fight, only naps. She's too young to fight sleep! Guess she has too many things to do and napping interrupts her busy schedule. :P

Now that Katie is 3.5 months old (can you believe it!?) it's time for some new pictures. It's been issue after issue trying to find out why she was screaming day and night, but I think we have finally nailed it and she seems to be happier and healthier than ever! Somehow she looks like a little chunky butt (part of that is the cloth diapers), but only weighed 11 lbs 10 oz at her appointment 2 weeks ago. Monday we go for her first round of shots :(




Halloween is coming up! I can't wait to see how the girls look in their costumes. We had to improvise a bit with Hayley's. She's going to be Hannah Montana and I refused to pay upwards of $50 for something cheap she'd never wear again so I put one together myself. Audrey is going to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and again, some improvising, but it's just darling! Katie is going to be a little mouse. Originally we had planned for a tiger, but they didn't have her size. The mouse outfit is too cute. I'll be taking the girls out by myself since Mike no longer works nights and has to be at work by 2 PM. Wish me luck!

Also I have to say CONGRATULATIONS to Carolyn and Steve! I'm so happy for you two and glad you finally got married :) I really wish I could have been there for you like you were for me. I miss you guys so much.

The week from heck

Because it wasn't quite the week from hell, I've definitely experienced worse, but it is a close second.
We started off last weekend with the kids' dad visiting, but only being able to stay for a couple of hours so they went to lunch and were home pretty quickly. It was a very short break and I really needed a longer one. (Not knowing anyone who can babysit for date nights really sucks.) Mike took the weekend off and it was nice having the extra help. Except for that we got virtually nothing done. Monday was a holiday so thank goodness for no school, but that's when it all started...

The cold from heck that is plaguing my family!

First Katie spends nights screaming over the weekend and we don't know why. Then Mike gets a sore throat... then Audrey has a stuffed up nose... and it all starts to make sense. Maybe Katie had the cold first? Who knows, but she doesn't have sinus problems that I can see. Just screaming and refusal to eat. She got much better for a couple of days, but then the all night screaming started again. It has been nothing short of exhausting. I've been pumping Sudafed into Mike and he's doing much better. Audrey has been on a healthy dose of Triaminic and seems to feel okay, but is extremely stuffy.

Tuesday I had my IUD appointment and was also able to get a flu shot for the first time ever. I finally qualified to get one because I have an infant!

Today is my turn. I went to bed with the worst sore throat and a baby who refused to sleep. It's killing me today. My ears are completely plugged and continually popping and my nose is running. I really, really hope that flu shot works because if I feel this crappy with a cold I can only imagine trying to care for 3 needy children with the flu. So you want to know the worst part of all of this?

I can't take medicine.

I am a notorious pill popper when it comes to illnesses. I know exactly what to take for every symptom of every virus that comes around and we're fully stocked with several types of Sudafed for every occasion. Normally I don't take meds at all, but it helps SO much to get through colds while avoiding ear infections and relieving the sinus pressure, stomach cramps, whathaveyou. But I am not allowed to take it! I would be cleaning the house right now if I could just have a little Sudafed to get through the day. Unfortunately, that miraculous drug dries up milk supply and since my child refuses the bottle still, I'm stuck. I am just going to hope the few good deeds I've done in my life get me through this without an ear infection. That's the last thing I need right now.

Now for the bad mommy part... I kept Hayley home from school today and canceled Katie's doctor appointment. She was supposed to get her two month shots today. Nooooo freaking way can I deal with her being in pain today of all days! Especially since I know from experience this will end up with her having a fever and me freaking out over it. We'll just wait on that.

In the midst of all this, I have the worst power company in the history of electricity. If there is a company worse than Entergy, please regail me with tales of how horrible they are because I would find it a stretch to find anything worse than them. Every day this week we have had rain. Not the infamous Texas thunderstorms with tons of lightning and downpours like Niagara Falls. No, just rain. Seattle type rain. Boring, but wet. Along with each rain has come blackouts in my city. Not all of the city... just my area. I'm used to the summertime brownouts from A/C being cranked, but those last up to 10 minutes. This is HOURS of power outages. Finally after three days in a row of power loss between 1 PM and 7 PM they were able to tell us there was a short somewhere causing fuses to pop at the station.

Great.

So find it and fix it. (Easier said than done, I know.) They blamed it on peak hours of usage. I believed them until today. Fifth day of outages in a row and I woke up at 7 AM to find the power was out. And had been for at least an hour. So I called.. and the message says it will be back on by 10 AM. WHAT?! What is going on there??? It was pitch black and I had no flash light so I just told Hayley to go back to bed. School would have to wait today (if they even had power.) I fully expect another outage this evening. Probably another one tomorrow. And each time my air conditioning shuts off while it's 92 degrees outside, I am going to take note of it and give them hell when I call. If for no reason other than it makes me feel better to get it out of my system and not direct my frustration toward my family. FIX THE DAMN POWER. That is all.

Time for more pictures!

After the miserable day/night yesterday, we're having a pretty good day today. Good day equals happy baby and our first real smiles caught on camera!! Plus a few photos from last week that I forgot to upload.

Disappointed.

I'm so frustrated some days that I will never get the wedding I dreamed of. I always wanted something very simple with some close friends and family... likely a very small wedding... but a wedding nonetheless. I simply can't afford to travel to have one and since my friends and family are spread so far apart across the US (and so are Mike's) that people wouldn't be able to attend anyway. I just want pictures and memories of a great day filled with people I love celebrating with us, but it just won't be possible and that reality is hard to face. I feel bad every time I see someone else's wedding photos and I don't like being jealous, but I can't really help it at this point.

I'm also disappointed that I couldn't make my first marriage work. I married the wrong person and I hate being yet another statistic. First teen mother, then divorced at 23. I need to do something right with my life. My life with Mike is a hundred times better than it was with Josh and for that I am extremely thankful. But that will make it a thousand times more devastating if things didn't work out with us. I can't imagine they wouldn't. I don't want to. I try not to think about it... but after such a messy divorce, it's hard not to worry.

5 week pictures of Miss Katelynn:

Various vents and other things

First, my mom's visit. It was actually a pretty nice visit for the most part. My mom is probably one of the most overbearing, controlling, tactless people you will meet. I've learned to live with it, but most people avoid being around her. She gets along with Mike OK, but not great. Better than she got along with my ex husband. Mike just won't take her shit so when she starts insulting me, our household, our parenting, etc. he will speak up about it. She really has no respect for anybody so I'm surprised there weren't a lot of arguments while she was here. I wish I had a better relationship with my mom. Mike had a great relationship with his mom and took it really really hard when she passed away 6 years ago. My mom just doesn't know how to relax and have a good time unless she's with little kids. She was cleaning the entire time she was here, but also wanted me to clean along with her all. the. time. I didn't want a home renovation, I just wanted her to visit and have a good time! She just isn't happy unless everything is perfect though.

By the end of her visit she was wearing out her welcome. She has no problem insulting people to their face and said pretty much every day how lucky we were that Katie looks like me and not her dad. She also has very clear favorites with my children. Hayley can do no wrong and throws temper tantrums on a regular basis. It's pretty bad... she doesn't DARE do that with me, but when my mom is here she knows it works. She is mean to her sister, always snatching things from her and shoving her into the door or off the bed. My mom says NOTHING about it. When Audrey retaliates, she's the bad child. She is called a brat, mocked and sometimes spanked. Not ok. I got on my mom's case about that so many times, but she just doesn't stop. Audrey is a brat with an attitude problem and Hayley is an angel. It makes me sick, really. Since Katie looks so much like Hayley my mom is just enthralled with her. When the girls stayed with my mom for vacation I had to hear all about how Audrey is such a brat and how she doesn't like to talk and refuses to smile for photos... I haven't had a single problem with any of that since she's been home. I really don't know what to do about her favoritism, but it makes me want to not let her see the kids when it's obviously hurting Audrey.

Next we have men and their inability to deal with stress. I know babies can be frustrating and squirm and wail for no apparent reason, but why do they have to get so stressed out over it? I swear unless the baby is sleeping I can't give her to Mike because he gets all stressed not being able to figure out why she's squawking so he can calm her down. She's difficult to calm down when she's upset as it is, but when he gets stressed it just makes it worse. I don't think he's held her for more than 10 minutes at a time when she's awake. Sure, they nap together sometimes and I think that's great, but I'm getting really burned out being the only person holding her all the time. I want to eat a baby-free meal or just sit at my computer without having to worry about whether or not she needs something. She has successfully taken a bottle finally so I'm no longer necessarily the only food source (I've stocked up a lot of frozen breastmilk), but he seems to have no interest in feeding her. It's like "I don't know what she wants, so... here." I guess there's something to be said for that maternal instinct. She's 5.5 weeks old now and I'm the only one who has ever gotten up with her at night other than maybe 2 diaper changes total.

On the other hand, Mike is too sweet sometimes. He keeps telling me to give him the name of the salon I like so he can look into spa packages for me. We really don't have that kind of money nor do I want him working overtime to get it. I'd rather get something for all of us if he worked OT. He really wants to do something special for me, though. I've tried telling him I don't want or need anything and I love that he's trying to do something nice, but it's just way too expensive of a nice thing. All I really need is about $100 and a trip to the mall alone. Not that I like malls. It just happens to be where they sell the makeup and cleansers and stuff that I use. I don't know how he thinks he would handle the three kids if I went out for a few hours or half a day. Poor guy.

Birthdays are coming up quickly. I ordered a cake and that's about it. I have no ambition or energy to plan a party and we only know a couple kids as it is so it would be kind of pointless if they couldn't come. We're thinking about taking the kids to Splash Town for their birthdays instead of doing a party since they're just swimmy little fish anyway. Mike's birthday isn't until November, but I'm trying to figure out what to get him now... I wasn't able to get him anything last year and he is the hardest person in the entire world to shop for. He doesn't have any hobbies besides the couple of games we play and he doesn't want anything. Whenever he wants something, we get it.

I think that's a lengthy enough post for now. Nobody would make it all the way through this drivel anyhow so I'll be off now.